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This week at Fitness Destinations we have been working on several updates to the site, including further work on our brand-new Shopping Center, and the creation and first 2 installments of The Don't Chronicles!
The Don't Chronicles are a backwards collection of Don't Directives with the laughable purpose of telling people what NOT to do. Taking a bite out of the "reverse psychology" wheel, The Don't Chronicles use "anti-marketing" techniques to inform and entertain about everything from health and fitness to sales and marketing.
The individual Don't Directives will be many things, the least of which being informative and remotely humorous, giving a fresh perspective to a world that is constantly be told what to do. We hope that you enjoy this look at things from the "other side"!
This week's articles are the first two Don't Directives: 'Don't Read This Article - I Dare You!', and 'Whatever You Do, DON'T Exercise!'
We hope that you enjoy the new feature, and have a great weekend!
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Fitness Article - Don't Read This Article - I Dare You!
See? It worked! The title said 'Don't Read This Article - I Dare You!', and here you are reading it anyway. Victory for me and my amazing psychic abilities?
Hardly.
Actually, this Maiden Voyage article of The Don't Chronicles has but one goal: to teach you the power of negative thinking! No, I don't mean that you should give up on your positive attitude. I mean that people don't like to be told "DON'T!"
Think about it. Why did you read this article? Defiance? Curiosity? Don't like being told what to do - or NOT do?
These are the same emotions that people will experience when you tell them "Don't buy my product", "Don't use my services", "Don't visit my website".
They will say things like "I don't care WHO that person thinks they are! I'll buy the product, use the service, or visit the website if I want to; I don't care what they say!"
They will think "I wonder what is so special about that product, service, or website that this person is willing to risk losing his or her audience by telling them not to participate?"
You don't have to have the "Next Big Thing", or have some "Incredible New" product in order to get someone interested. Instead, just get them interested!
Tell them that they don't want to look into your services or products. They don't need to read your information-packed website. They don't want to spend time learning about how your product or service could help them.
Do you know what their first question is going to be when you tell them these things? "Why Not??"
Now you've picqued their interest! Now they want to learn more. They want to learn about this top-secret product they weren't supposed to know about. They want to see this website that you told them not to bother visiting. They want to find out why your services are so in-demand that you can afford to tell people NOT to use them!
Human beings are people, and people are curious, and people don't like being told what to do. This isn't Sales and Marketing 101. This is Human Nature. If you want to sell your products and services to humans, you need to learn how humans think.
Or Don't. I don't really care anyway. I've obviously piqued YOUR interest, or you wouldn't have read this far!
DON'T check out the rest of The Don't Chronicles! After all, no one could possibly have a point of view or a unique way of dealing with life that you haven't already thought of, right?
About the Author
Aaron Potts is the owner of Fitness Destinations, a Certified Success Group Leader for Tahitian Noni International, and the author of The Don't Chronicles. He also authors a Free Daily Fitness Tips Podcast.
Fitness Article - Whatever You Do, DON'T Exercise!
You can't turn left, right, go forward, backwards, or even just stand still these days without someone telling you that you have to exercise.
Whatever happens, DON'T do it!
People talk about the many benefits of exercise, and indeed, the list seems very long, and it seems to touch pretty much every aspect of our lives. Let's examine this:
- Increases Energy: I can't imagine why anyone would want to increase their energy level. As if the world isn't already too full of caffeinated coffee and energy drink junkies, now we're being told to try to get MORE energy from exercise.
Don't do it people! Just try to make it through your long and boring lives with barely enough pep to get from point A to point B, and then drag yourself home every night and plop down on the couch for another brain-draining evening in front of the TV.
- Lowers Your Risk for Heart Disease: Heart Disease?!? Yeah right - this sounds like too many doctors weren't making enough money, so they came up with a general term that would cover everything from indigestion to breathing hard.
The fact that it kills more people in the United States than any other disease or condition combined is irrelevant. Your heart is in great shape! Keep eating potato chips, hamburgers, and fried shrimp. You'll be just fine.
- Cranks up Your Metabolism: What IS metabolism anyway? Everyone is talking about it, but I don't see it around anywhere. If it's so important to have a fast metabolism in order to burn off bodyfat, wouldn't someone have come up with a magic pill or special sauce that took care of this issue?
Stay up really late eating ice cream and washing it down with root beer. While your body turns every one of those calories into bodyfat, you can catch an infommercial that is sure to be selling "The Metabolism Master Blaster"!
- Helps You Lose Weight: Oh sure - here is another example of mass hysteria. If exercise is so good at making people lose weight, why is it that America is fatter today than it has ever been, even though there is a gym on every corner?
Seriously, being fat HAS to be healthy, or else everyone wouldn't be doing it! Go ask the owner of any fast food restaurant if they think that people are truly concerned about losing weight.
- Increases Self-Esteem: This must be why anti-depressant drugs are so rampant in our society today. Half of our teenagers are on Valium, and the other half have ADD. Marriages are breaking up left and right over emotional conflicts, and psychologists get paid big dollars to assure people that they are "OK".
Besides, overweight people must already have great self-esteem, because they are able to hide in their homes dying of bad health instead of feeling the need to go "be healthy" with the rest of the world.
So, in conclusion, I think we have demonstrated that there is a perfectly acceptable way to use logic to convince ourselves that we don't need to exercise. Let the members of the Health and Fitness industry keep selling their wares, putting together new products and facilities, and generally wasting their lives away.
The rest of us are smart and we will boycott this thing called "Exercise". As our stomachs grow larger, our backsides get bigger, and our clothes get smaller, we can take solace in the fact that we didn't get swept up by that whole "Health Craze"!
Hey - pass the chocolate cake covered in caramel and whip cream! I want a third piece of that while my french fries deep-fry for another five minutes and I catch the end of some completely unrealistic reality show!
About the Author
Aaron Potts is the owner of Fitness Destinations, a Certified Success Group Leader for Tahitian Noni International, and the author of The Don't Chronicles. He also authors a Free Daily Fitness Tips Podcast.
